 |
 Greatest
Opening Film Lines and Quotes  2000s |
(chronological, by film title) 1920s-1940s | 1950s-1960s | 1970s | 1980s | 1990s | 2000s | 2010s Return to Entire Quotes Index |
2000s |
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[The Chipmunk Song] |
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- "Our pasta this evening is squid ravioli
in a lemon grass broth with goat cheese profiteroles, and I also
have an arugula Caesar salad. For entrees this evening, I have swordfish
meatloaf with onion marmalade, rare roasted partridge breast in raspberry
coulis with a sorrel timbale." |
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(voice-over) "My name is Richard. So what else
do you need to know? Stuff about my family, or where I'm from? None
of that matters. Not once you cross the ocean and cut yourself loose,
looking for something more beautiful, something more exciting, and
yes, I admit, something more dangerous. So after 18 hours in the
back of an airplane, three dumb movies, two plastic meals, six beers
and absolutely no sleep, I finally touch down... in Bangkok." |
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- "Uhm, you have no actual medical training?" |
|
(titles) "At the height of its power the Roman Empire
was vast, stretching from the deserts of Africa to the borders of Northern
England. Over one quarter of the world's population lived and died
under the rule of the Caesars. In the winter of 180 A.D., Emperor Marcus
Aurelius' twelve-year campaign against the Barbarian Tribes in Germania
was drawing to an end. Just one final stronghold stands in the way
of Roman victory and the promise of peace throughout the Empire." (Germania) |
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"What came first? - the music or the misery?
People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos,
that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody
worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of
songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen
to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because
I listened to pop music?" |
|
(voice-over) "So where are you? You're in some motel
room. You just - you just wake up and you're in - in a motel room.
There's the key. It feels like maybe it's just the first time you've
been there, but perhaps you've been there for a week, three months.
It's - it's kinda hard to say. I don't - I don't know. It's just
an anonymous room." |
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- "Say, any of you boys smithies? Or, if not
smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts
before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless
wanderin'?" |
|
(narrating) "My name is Turkish. Funny name for an
Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it
crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane.
Not many people are named after a plane crash. That's Tommy. He tells
people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after
a famous 19th century ballet dancer. Known him for as long as I can
remember. He's my partner. It doesn't mean we hold hands or take windy
walks. What it really means I try to keep him out of as much trouble
as he inflicts on me. I give him a hard time. Keeps him in check. But
really, he's like my brother. What do I know about diamonds? I'm a
boxing promoter. I was a happy boxing promoter until a week ago, and
then. What do I know about diamonds? Don't they come from Antwerp?" |
|
(voice-over) "Do you
know the expression, 'a man's man'? A man's man is the leader of
the pack. The kind of man other men look up to, admire, and emulate.
A man's man is the kind of man who (chuckles) just doesn't
get what women are about." |
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(voice-over) "Mutation: it is the key to our
evolution. It has enabled us to evolve from a single-celled organism
into the dominant species on the planet. This process is slow, and
normally taking thousands and thousands of years. But every few hundred
millennia, evolution leaps forward." |
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(voice-over) "It all began on New Year's Day in
my thirty-second year of being single. Once again, I found myself
on my own, and going to my mother's annual turkey curry buffet. Every
year, she tries to fix me up with some bushy-haired, middle-aged
bore, and I feared this year would be no exception." |
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- (on phone) "I want you to suck my big dick." |
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(voice-over) "The world is changed. I feel
it in the water. I feel it in the earth. I smell it in the air. Much
that once was is lost, for none now live who remember it. It began
with the forging of the Great Rings. Three were given to the Elves;
immortal, wisest and fairest of all beings. Seven to the Dwarf Lords,
great miners and craftsmen of the mountain halls. And nine, nine
rings were gifted to the race of Men, who, above all else, desire
power. For within these rings was bound the strength and will to
govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another
ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom,
the Dark Lord Sauron forged, in secret, a master ring to control
all others. And into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice
and his will to dominate all life. One ring to rule them all..." |
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(title card) Paris, 1900 |
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"What are you doing? We don't stop here!" |
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(Tennessee 1923) |
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(narrated) - "Once upon a time, there was a lovely
princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort,
which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away
in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave
knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but
none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room
of the tallest tower, for her true love, and true love's first kiss." |
|
(voice-over) "Do I have an original thought in my head?
My bald head. Maybe if I were happier, my hair wouldn't be falling out.
Life is short. I need to make the most of it. Today is the first day
of the rest of my life. I'm a walking cliché. I really need to
go to the doctor and have my leg checked. There's something wrong. A
bump. The dentist called again. I'm way overdue. If I stop putting things
off, I would be happier. All I do is sit on my fat ass. If my ass wasn't
fat I would be happier. I wouldn't have to wear these shirts with the
tails out all the time. Like that's fooling anyone. Fat ass. I should
start jogging again. Five miles a day. Really do it this time. Maybe
rock climbing. I need to turn my life around. What do I need to do? I
need to fall in love. I need to have a girlfriend. I need to read more,
improve myself. What if I learned Russian or something? Or took up an
instrument? I could speak Chinese. I'd be the screenwriter who speaks
Chinese and plays the oboe. That would be cool. I should get my hair
cut short. Stop trying to fool myself and everyone else into thinking
I have a full head of hair. How pathetic is that? Just be real. Confident.
Isn't that what women are attracted to? Men don't have to be attractive.
But that's not true. Especially these days. Almost as much pressure on
men as there is on women these days. Why should I be made to feel I have
to apologize for my existence? Maybe it's my brain chemistry. Maybe that's
what's wrong with me. Bad chemistry. All my problems and anxiety can
be reduced to a chemical imbalance or some kind of misfiring synapses.
I need to get help for that. But I'll still be ugly though. Nothing's gonna
change that." |
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- "No, son. Never. The blood stays on the blade. One day you'll understand."
|
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"Hello, I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass." |
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(voice-over) -
"You know what happens at that height? The brain dies from
lack of oxygen cell by cell. It just shuts down and the body goes with
it. I can't stop thinking about what it must have been like." |
|
(voice-over) "It's a story that might bore you,
but you don't have to listen, because I always knew it was going
to be like that. And it was, I think, in that last year, or actually
weekend, really a Friday in December at Camden, and this was years
ago when I was a different person, and I was so drunk that I ended
up losing my virginity. I lost it to some guy who I thought was a
ceramics major, but was actually either an NYU film student who
was just up to Camden for The
End Of The World,
or a townie. I actually had my eye on someone else that night. Victor." |
|
(voice-over) "Who am I? You sure you wanna
know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody
said it was a happy little tale, if somebody told you I was just
your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world, somebody lied.
But let me assure you, this like any story worth telling, is all
about a girl. That girl. The girl next door. Mary Jane Watson. The
woman I've loved since before I even liked girls. I'd like to tell
you that's me next to her. Aw, heck, I'd even take him." |
|
[Song: "Catch Me If You Can"] |
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- "Do you find me sadistic? You know, I'll
bet I could fry an egg on your head right now, if I wanted to. You
know, Kiddo, I'd like to believe that you're aware enough even now
to know that there's nothing sadistic in my actions. Well, maybe
towards those other jokers, but not you. No Kiddo, at this moment,
this is me at my most masochistic." |
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(voice-over) "Whenever I get gloomy with the state
of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport.
General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of
hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love
is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy,
but it's always there. Fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands
and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes
hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from
the people on board were messages of hate or revenge. They were all
messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll
find that love actually is all around." |
|
- (singing) "Drink up me hearties, yo, ho. We kidnap
and ravage and don't give a hoot. Drink up me hearties, yo, ho. Yo,
ho, yo, ho. A pirate's life for me. We extort, we pilfer, we filch,
we sack. Drink up..." |
|
(title card) "The following is based on actual
events. Only the names, locations and events have been changed." |
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- "Do you consider the book to be autobiographical?" |
|
- "It's the sense of touch." |
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(guitar and singing) "I can't be held responsible
For the things I say For I am just A vessel in vain And I can't
be held responsible For the things I see For I am just A vessel
in vain. No boat out on no ocean No name there on no hull And it's
not a strain at all To remember Those that I've left behind They're
all standing Right here beside me now And most of them With a smile
My ideals Have got me on the run Towards my connection With everyone
My ideals Have got me on the run Towards my connection With everyone
My ideals Have got me on the run It's my connection With everyone
Such free reign For a vessel in vain." |
|
(voice-over) "Random thoughts for Valentine's
Day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to
make people feel like crap. I ditched work today. Took a train out
to Montauk. I don't know why. I'm not an impulsive person. I guess
I just woke up in a funk this morning. I gotta get my car fixed." |
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"Who are you?" |
|
- "Do it! You got him! You got him!" (bell
rings) |
|
| "When I remember Lisa, I don't think about our clothes or her work, or where she was from, or even what she said. I think about her smell, her taste, her skin touching mine." | |
- "Heads, you win. Tails,
you die." |
|
["(What a) Wonderful World" by Sam Cooke] |
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"There are over 550 million firearms in
worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on
the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other eleven?" |
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(voice-over) "The man who said, 'I'd rather
be lucky than good,' saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face
how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think
so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when
the ball hits the top of the net, and for a split second, it can
either go forward or fall back. With a little luck, it goes forward,
and you win. Or maybe it doesn't, and you lose." |
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| (voice-over) "She shivers in the wind like the last leaf on a dying
tree. I let her hear my footsteps. She only goes stiff for a moment." |
|
(voice-over) "Remember, remember, the Fifth of November,
the gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder
treason should ever be forgot. But what of the man? I know his name
was Guy Fawkes and I know, in 1605, he attempted to blow up the Houses
of Parliament. But who was he really? What was he like? We are told
to remember the idea, not the man, because a man can fail. He can
be caught, he can be killed and forgotten, but 400 years later, an
idea can still change the world. I have witnessed first hand the
power of ideas, I've seen people kill in the name of them, and die
defending them, but you cannot kiss an idea, cannot touch it, or
hold it. Ideas do not bleed, they do not feel pain, they do not love.
And it is not an idea that I miss, it is a man. A man that made me
remember the Fifth of November. A man that I will never forget." |
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"That was refreshing. I'm refreshed. I'm refreshing." |
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- (Male TV reporter) "Day 1,000 of the siege
of Seattle." |
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(voice-over) "I don't wanna be a product of
my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me. Years
ago we had the church. That was only a way of sayin' - we had each
other." |
|
["Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall] |
|
(voice-over) "You look at that river gently
flowing by. You notice the leaves rustling with the wind. You hear
the birds; you hear the tree frogs. In the distance you hear a cow.
You feel the grass. The mud gives a little bit on the river bank.
It's quiet; it's peaceful. And all of a sudden, it's a gear shift
inside ya. And it's like takin' a deep breath and goin': 'Oh yeah,
I forgot about this'." |
|
"My name is Dalton Russell. Pay strict attention
to what I say because I choose my words carefully and I never repeat
myself. I've told you my name: that's the 'who.' The 'where' could
most readily be described as a prison cell, but there's a vast difference
between being stuck in a tiny cell and being in prison. The 'what'
is easy. Recently, I planned and set in motion events to execute the
perfect bank robbery. That's also the 'when.' As for the 'why,' beyond
the obvious financial motivation, it's exceedingly simple. Because
I can. Which leaves us only with the 'how.' And therein,
as the Bard would tell us, lies the rub." |
|
(videotape pageant announcer, voice-over) - "The
winner of a $30,000 dollar scholarship is Miss Louisiana, Erika
Schwarz. And the new Miss America is Miss Kansas, Tara Dawn Holland!" (tape
rewinds) "scholarship
is Miss Louisiana, Erika Schwarz. And the new Miss America is Miss
Kansas, Tara Dawn Holland!" |
|
(voice-over) "People have always trusted me with
their secrets. But who do I trust with mine? You, only you. The first
day of a new term. Here come the local pubescent proles, the future
plumbers and shop assistants, and doubtless the odd terrorist too.
In the old days, we confiscated cigarettes and wank mags. Now it's
knives and crack cocaine. And they call it progress." |
|
(voice-over) "Are you watching closely?" |
|
(voice-over) (title card) "According to all
known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able
to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the
ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible." |
|
(title card) "1585 Spain is the most powerful empire
in the world. Philip of Spain, a devout Catholic, has plunged Europe
into holy war. Only England stands against him, ruled by a Protestant
Queen." |
|
(voice-over) "I always believed it was the
things you don't choose that makes you who you are. Your city, your
neighborhood, your family. People here take pride in these things,
like it was somethin' they'd accomplished. The bodies around their
souls, the cities wrapped around those. I lived on this block my
whole life; most of these people have. When your job is to find people
who are missin', it helps to know where they started. I find the
people who started in the cracks and then fell through. This city
can be hard. When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get
to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world.
He told me what God said to his children: 'You are sheep among
wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves.'" |
|
(voice-over) "I was Sheriff of this county
when I was twenty-five years old. Hard to believe. My grandfather
was a lawman. Father, too. Me and him was Sheriffs at the same time,
him up in Plano and me out here. I think he was pretty proud of that.
I know I was. Some of the old-time Sheriffs never even wore a gun.
A lot of folks find that hard to believe. Jim Scarborough never carried
one. That's the younger Jim. Gaston Boykins wouldn't wear one up
in Comanche County. Now I always liked to hear about the old-timers.
Never missed a chance to do so. You can't help but compare yourself
against the old-timers. Can't help but wonder how they would've operated
these times. There is this boy I sent to the electric chair in Huntsville
here awhile back. My arrest and my testimony. He kilt a fourteen-year-old
girl. Papers said it was a crime of passion but he told me there
wasn't any passion to it. Told me that he'd been plannin' to kill
somebody for about as long as he could remember. Said if they turned
him out he'd do it again. Said he knew he was goin' to hell. Be there
in about fifteen minutes. I don't know what to make of that. I surely
don't. The crime you see now, it's hard to even take its measure.
It's not that I'm afraid of it. I always knew you had to be willin'
to die to even do this job. But, I don't want to push my chips forward
and go out and meet somethin' I don't understand. A man would have
to put his soul at hazard. He'd have to say, okay. I'll be part
of this world." |
|
(voice-over) "A philosopher once asked, 'Are we
human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because
we are human?' Pointless, really. 'Do the stars gaze back?' Now, that's a
question. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Our story really begins
here, 150 years ago at the Royal Academy of Science in London, England,
where a letter arrived, containing a very strange inquiry. It had
come from a country boy and the scientist who read it thought it
might be a practical joke of some kind. But he duly wrote a reply
politely explaining that the query was nonsense. And posted it to
the boy who lived in a village called Wall, so named, the boy had
said, for the wall that ran alongside it. A wall that, according
to local folklore, hid an extraordinary secret." |
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(title card) 1898 |
|
(announcer) "...and I'll tell you what. The storm system's
still moving west." |
|
- "Three of a kind, let's do this!" |
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- "Lord Thomas." |
|
(voice-over) "It all started 27 years ago. That's
an orphanage. That's me in the basket. I guess somebody didn't want
me. I hear they did want the basket back, though. But it was fine
in the orphanage. That's me in the third row. I wasn't very popular.
Of course, everybody wanted to be adopted. Luckily, lots of families
came. And everybody got to go live with a family. Oh, except me.
But I tried not to give up hope. Then, one day, something magical
happened, just like out of a fairy tale. Do you remember the one
where the wolf huffed and puffed and blew the piggies' house down?
And he was wearing a glass slipper, I think, and he had a pumpkin?
Plus there was that other thing? Well, the same thing happened to
me only vastly different. I changed. And the next thing you knew,
people seemed to like me for once. And then pictures were taken,
and suddenly I found the family I always wanted. Oh, I forgot to
tell you, my name is Shelley. Now I live in the Playboy Mansion.
And this is where I want to live happily ever after." |
|
(voice-over) "After I killed them, I dropped the gun
in the Thames, washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a
Burger King, and walked home to await instructions. Shortly thereafter
the instructions came through. 'Get the f--k out of London, youse dumb
f--ks. Get to Bruges.' I didn't even know where Bruges f--kin' was.
It's in Belgium." |
|
(dictating) "This is Harvey Milk
speaking on Friday, November 18th. This is only to be played in the
event of my death by assassination. During one of my early campaigns,
I began to open speeches with a line and it became kind of a signature." |
|
- "Anne. Mary. Wait. Wait for me." |
|
"People ask the question: what's a RocknRolla? And
I tell 'em - it's not about drums, drugs, and hospital drips, oh
no. There's more there than that, my friend. We all like a bit of
the good life - some the money, some the drugs, others the sex game,
the glamour, or the fame. But a RocknRolla, oh, he's different. Why?
Because a real RocknRolla wants the f--king lot." |
|
(title card) Mumbai, 2006 Jamal
Malik is one question away from winning 20 million rupees. How did
he do it? A: He cheated B: He's lucky C: He's a genius D: It is written |
|
(voice-over) "Mozart found his calling at
age five composing his first minuet. Picasso discovered his talent
for painting when he was nine...Tiger Woods swung his first club
well before his second birthday. Me? I was eight when I discovered
my purpose in life. I was at the St. Thomas Church next to the Hyatt
Regency in Weehawken, New Jersey. It was my cousin Lisa's wedding...
It was our first big family event since Mom died and Dad was not
in great shape...And that was the moment. That's when I fell in love
with weddings. I knew that I had helped someone on the most important
day of their life. And I couldn't wait for my own special day..." |
|
(voice-over) "I'd never given much thought
to how I would die. But dying in the place of someone I love seems
like a good way to go. So I can't bring myself to regret the decision
to leave home. I would miss Phoenix. I'd miss the heat. I would miss
my loving, erratic, hare-brained mother. And her new husband...But
they want to go on the road, so I'm gonna spend some time with my
dad, and this will be a good thing. I think. In the state of Washington,
under a near constant cover of clouds and rain, there's a small town
named Forks. Population, 3,120 people. This is where I'm moving.
My dad's Charlie. He's the chief of police...." |
|
(narrating) "When I was lying in the V.A. hospital
with a big hole blown through the middle of my life, I started having
these dreams of flying. I was free. Sooner or later, though, you
always have to wake up. They can fix a spinal, if you got the money,
but not on vet benefits, not in this economy. A VA check and twelve
bucks will get ya a cup of coffee. I'm what they call wait-listed." |
|
(three phone machine recordings) |
|
(voice-over) "A girl will never forget the first
boy she likes. Even if things don't quite work out." |
|
(title card) "The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug" -
Chris Hedges |
|
(voice-over) "There was a time when energy
was a dirty word. When turning on your lights was a hard choice.
Cities in brownout. Food shortages. Cars burning fuel to run. But
that was the past. Where are we now? How do we make the world so
much better? Make deserts bloom? Right now, we're the largest producer
of fusion energy in the world. The energy of the sun, trapped in
rock, harvested by machine from the far side of the moon. Today,
we deliver enough clean-burning helium-3 to supply the energy needs
of nearly 70% of the planet. Who'd have thought? All the energy we
ever needed, right above our heads. The power of the moon. The power
of our future." |
|
(voice-over) "We had such potential, such promise.
But we squandered our gifts, our intelligence. Our blind pursuit of
technology only sped us quicker to our doom. Our world is ending. But
life must go on." |
|
| (voice-over) "Oh, America. I wish I could tell
you that this was still America, but I've come to realize that you
can't have a country without people. And there are no people here...No,
my friends. This is now the United States of Zombieland. It's
amazing how quickly things can go from bad to total s--t storm. And
why am I alive when everyone around me has turned to meat? It's because
of my list of rules. Rule Number One for surviving Zombieland: Cardio.
When the virus struck, for obvious reasons, the first ones to go
were the fatties. Poor fat bastard. But as the infection spread and
the chaos grew, it wasn't enough to just be fast on your feet. You
had to get a gun and learn how to use it. Which leads me to my Second
Rule: The Double Tap. In those moments when you're not sure the undead
are really 'dead' dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I
mean, one more clean shot to the head and this lady could have avoided
becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda, coulda, shoulda. Wasn't long
before the zombies began to get clever. When you're at your most
vulnerable, somehow they could just smell it...Don't
let them catch you with your pants down. Rule Number Three: Beware of
bathrooms. As zombies began to outnumber humans, well, that's when
you had to cut all emotional ties. If the girls in your neighborhood
are now f--ked-up little monsters, well, maybe it's time to stop
driving carpool. You had to focus on your own survival, which leads
to Rule Number Four. Pretty basic. Fasten your seat belts. It's gonna
be a bumpy ride." |
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