A (continued) |
Title Screen
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Movie Title/Year and Scene
Descriptions |
Screenshots
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Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004)
- the sophomoric character of San Diego's top-rated
late-1970s macho-newsman on male-dominated Channel 4 -- polyester-suited
Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) with coiffed blow-dryed hair; the testosterone-fueled,
vain and sexist anchor loved to drink scotch ("I love
scotch! Scotchy, scotch, scotch"),
party, and grab females' rear-ends
- the scene of Ron's first meeting at a pool party
to pick up pretty blonde Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate)
from North Carolina: "You have an absolutely breathtaking
heinie. I mean, that thing is good. I want to be friends with
it"; their conversation continued: "Do
you know who I am?...I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind
of a big deal...People know me... I'm very important. Uh, I have
many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany"
- while parked during a date, Ron's quotable attempt
to impress Veronica about the meaning of San Diego: "Discovered
by the Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course,
in German means a whale's vagina...I'm sorry, I was trying to impress
you. I don't know what it means. I'll be honest, I don't think
anyone knows what it means anymore. Scholars maintain that the
translation was lost hundreds of years ago"
- the colorful, animated depiction of fantasy love-making
between Ron and Veronica, with flying cupids, stars, rainbows
and unicorns, to the tune of Tom Jones' "Help Yourself" ("Love
is like candy on a shelf...") when she asked him to take her to
Pleasure Town
- when Ron was asked what love was like, his
rendition of "Afternoon
Delight"
in his office with his friends singing harmony: "Gonna find
my baby, gonna hold her tight / Gonna grab some afternoon delight
/ My motto's always been: 'When it's right, it's right' / Why wait
until the middle of a cold dark night?..."
- the scene of Ron driving along and throwing his
burrito out his car window and causing the crash of a motorcyclist
(Jack Black) on his chopper; in retaliation, the enraged biker cruelly
punted Ron's dog Baxter (described as being "like a miniature Buddha,
covered in hair") off of a bridge into the water below, and exclaimed:
"That's how I roll"; in mourning, Ron delivered a desperate rant
in a glass-enclosed phone booth: ("I'm
in a glass case of emotion!")
- the rumble-fight "bloodfest" scene between
many rival groups of San Diego's male TV anchors (cameos) in an
alleyway, including Wes Mantooth (Vince Vaughn) with a group of
bicycle riding newsmen, Channel 2 News' Frank Vitchard (Luke Wilson)
and his team, Public TV News Anchor (Tim Robbins) and his colleagues
("No commercials,
no mercy!"), and Arturo Mendes (Ben Stiller) from the Spanish-Language
news group: (Ron to Mantooth: "Uh-oh!
Here comes trouble!...Let's dance dickweed"), followed by
lots of taunting big-talk; each one revealed from under their clothes
a different weapon, including a switchblade knife, a chain, a hand-grenade,
a hammer, a gun, a billyclub, a sword, etc.; the pampered Ron set
the rules: "Now before we do this, let's go over the ground
rules. Rule number 1: No touching of the hair or face... AND THAT'S
IT! Now, let's do this!"; soon, the fight became ludricrous,
with a man on fire, horses, net-draggings, the use of a trident
as a projectile, a lopped-off limb, stabbings, fistfights, etc;
when it ended, Ron (back in the newsroom) exclaimed: "Boy,
that escalated quickly"
- the trading of insults between Burgundy and rival
ambitious news reporter and assistant anchor Veronica Corningstone: "You
are a smelly pirate hooker"; she retorted back: "You
look like a blueberry";
he responded: "Why don't you go back to your home on Whore
Island?"
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Animal
Crackers (1930)
- disreputable African explorer Captain Jeffrey Spaulding
(Groucho Marx) - Groucho's most celebrated character - leading
the rousing "Hooray for Captain Spaulding!" (Groucho's
familiar theme song) and his entrance - borne on a litter by African
natives
- Captain Spaulding's great
lengthy monologue about his African exploits, told to a large
group of party-goers: ("Friends,
I'm going to tell you of that great mysterious wonderful continent
known as Africa. Africa is
God's country, and He can have it. Well, sir, we left New York
drunk and early on the morning of February 2nd. After fifteen
days on the water and six on the boat, we finally arrived on
the shores of Africa. We at once proceeded three hundred miles
into the heart of the jungle, where I shot a polar bear. This
bear was six foot seven in his stocking feet and had shoes on... this
bear was anemic and he couldn't stand the cold climate. He was
a rich bear and he could afford to go away in the winter. You
take care of your animals and I'll take care of mine. Frozen
North, my eye! From the day of our arrival, we led an active
life. The first morning saw us up at six, breakfasted, and back
in bed at seven - this was our routine for the first three months.
We finally got so we were back in bed at six thirty. One morning,
I was sitting in front of the cabin, smoking some meat...Yes.
There wasn't a cigar store in the neighborhood. As I say, I was
sitting in front of the cabin when I bagged six tigers. Six
of the biggest tigers... I bagged them. I...I bagged them to
go away, but they hung around all afternoon. They were the most
persistent tigers I've ever seen. The principal animals inhabiting
the African jungle are moose, elks and Knights of Pythias. Of
course, you all know what a moose is. That's big game. The first
day, I shot two bucks. That was the biggest game we had. As I
say, you all know what a moose is? A moose runs around on the
floor, and eats cheese, and is chased by the cats. The elks,
on the other hand, live up in the hills, and in the spring they
come down for their annual convention. It is very interesting
to watch them come to the water hole. And you should see them run when
they find it is only a water hole. What they're looking for is
an al-co-hole (or elk-a-hole). One morning, I shot an
elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy
to say, tusks. You try that some time...As I say, we tried to
remove the tusks, but they were embedded in so firmly that we
couldn't budge them. Of course, in Alabama, the Tusk-a-loosa.
But, uh, that's entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking
about. We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't
developed. But we're going back again in a couple of weeks")
- the leg-holding scene
- the unbelievable
boxing/wrestling match between the Professor (Harpo Marx) and society
matron Mrs. Rittenhouse (Margaret Dumont)
- the lunatic bridge game
- the business letter dictation scene with his
secretary (Zeppo) (he omitted a 'Hungerdunger')
- Groucho's discussion
with patron Roscoe W. Chandler (Louis Sorin) about art
- the verbal
non-sensical duel of wits between Spaulding and musician Ravelli
(Chico Marx)
- the Professor's famous silverware-dropping
routine
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Animal House (1978) - see National Lampoon's Animal House |
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Annie
Hall (1977)
- the scene in the movie line at The
New Yorker theatre for Ophul's The Sorrow and the Pity (1969) when
neurotic stand-up comic and writer Alvy Singer (Woody Allen) became
frustrated, broke the fourth wall ("What do you do when
you get stuck in a movie line with a guy like this behind you? It's just
maddening"), and expressed his dissatisfaction with a
pretentious, pseudo-intellectual blowhard-critic (Russell Horton)
who was pontificating about director Fellini and Samuel Beckett;
Alvy pulled out real-life
Marshall McLuhan (Himself) from behind a lobby standee
to 'tell off' the man - followed by a rebuttal to the camera: ("Boy,
if life were only like this")
- the first insecure meeting of ditzy aspiring
singer Annie Hall (Diane Keaton) and Alvy at a tennis club
- the flirtatious apartment porch scene in which
they had a
nervous and fumbling chit-chatty discussion while subtitles appeared
with their unspoken real feelings
- the scene of Alvy and Annie spontaneously laughing
at crawling crustaceans on the kitchen floor as they clumsily
prepared a lobster dinner at a beach house in the Hamptons
- Alvy's struggle against a spider "the size
of a Buick"
- the sight gag of Alvy snorting coke - and sneezing,
and blowing about $2,000/ounce worth of cocaine into the room!
- and
the scene in which a So. California party guest (Jeff Goldblum)
told his guru on the phone: "I forgot my mantra!"
- Alvy's famous quote as he was walking along
with Annie: "Hey,
don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love"
- the
character of Annie's psychotic brother Duane (Christopher Walken)
- fantasy
elements (including Annie and Alvy as cartoon characters, Alvy
talking directly to the audience or to his younger self and Jewish
relatives, and the split-screen family dinner scene)
- the many jokes emphasizing the difference between
New York and LA
- Alvy's questioning of strangers on the street
to find the secrets to their happiness for sexual and romantic
compatibility
- the flashbacked philosophical ending and chicken
joke when Alvy was parting from Annie: "After that, it got pretty
late and we both had to go. But it was great seeing Annie again.
And I realize what a terrific person she was and how much fun
it was just knowing her...And I thought of that old joke. You
know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, 'Doc, uh, my
brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken,' and uh, the doctor says, 'Well
why don't you turn him in?' And the guy says, 'I would, but I need the
eggs.' Well, I guess that's pretty much now how I feel about relationships.
You know, they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd and - but uh,
I guess we keep going through it because most of us need the eggs"
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The Apartment
(1960)
- the growing relationship between C.C. "Bud" Baxter
(Jack Lemmon), a lowly insurance
worker (one of "31,259 drones" working in an insurance
company) and the company's pixie-faced, charming, elfin elevator
operator Miss Fran Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine); one day in the elevator,
when he complained about his cold (from sleeping on a Central Park
bench overnight), she commiserated with him: "You should have stayed
in bed this morning" - he quipped back: "I should have stayed in
bed last night"
- the scene of Bud riding up in the elevator with
Fran to the 27th floor (believing that he was going to be promoted),
and exhibiting his habit of adding -wise to his words: "And drive
carefully. You're carrying precious cargo - I mean manpower-wise...I
am in the top ten, efficiency-wise, and this may be the day, promotion-wise"
- the dilemma of Bud Baxter (oftentimes displaced
from his own apartment) when he allowed higher-ups, including his
four philandering managers and his fast-talking, authoritative
married executive Jeff D. Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray) to use his
Upper West Side apartment for after-hours romantic trysts-affairs;
Sheldrake was womanizing with Fran Kubelik behind Baxter's back
- the scene of Bud surprising his concerned neighbor
Dr. Dreyfuss (Jack Kruschen), when he was seen carrying out a large
wastebasket of used liquor bottles; Bud was admonished and mistaken
for a 20th century Don Juan lothario, partier and frequent alcohol
imbiber: "The
way you're beltin' that stuff, you must have a pair of cast-iron
kidneys....As a matter of fact, you must be an iron man all around.
From what I hear through the walls, you got somethin' goin' for
ya every night...Sometimes, there's a twi-night double-header.
(He clucked his tongue) A nebbish like you!...You know, Baxter,
I'm doing some research at the Columbia Medical Center and I wonder
if you could do us a favor?...When you make out your will, and
the way you're going, you should, would you mind leaving your body
to the University?... (Shaking his finger) Slow down, kid"
- the late-night wake-up phone call from administrator/office
manager Mr. Dobisch (Ray Walston) to Bud, who insisted on using
the apartment for a tryst with a blonde Marilyn Monroe-lookalike
(Joyce Jameson)
- the scene of Bud straining spaghetti through a
tennis racket ("You should see my backhand") preparing
dinner for Miss Kubelik after her suicide attempt
- the New Year's Eve scene when Fran learned from
Sheldrake that Bud had quit his job rather
than lending out his apartment anymore ("He just walked
out on me, quit. Threw that big fat job right in my face...that
little punk, after all I did for him. Said I couldn't bring anybody
to the apartment, especially not Miss Kubelik"); she responded:
"I guess that's the way it crumbles, cookie-wise," then rushed
to Bud's apartment, realizing that he really loved her and had
sacrificed his career for her; when
she reached the top of the stairs, she heard what she thought was
a gun-shot - and was relieved when the door opened and Bud was
holding a recently-uncorked bottle of champagne
- the curtain-closing scene during a friendly gin-rummy
card game when Bud professed his love ("I absolutely adore
you")
to discarded mistress Fran Kubelik; she responded by handing
him the pack of cards and bluntly speaking the film's last line
- still romantically reticent: "Shut
up and deal"
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Army of Darkness (1993)
- the witty wisecracks by stranded-in-time, unbalanced
hardware store S-Mart clerk Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell)
- Ash's cutting off of his own possessed left hand
with his chainsaw, followed by his time-warp transport to medieval
14th century England
- the scene of chainsaw-handed
hero Ash Williams constructing a mechanical metal hand for himself
(to take the place of his lopped-off right hand) in medieval times, and his statement to himself: "Groovy"
- the deadite pit scene (Ash
saved himself with his retrieved chainsaw), followed by his intimidating
speech about his "boomstick": ("This is my boomstick!...S-Mart's
top of the line")
- Ash's defeat of another old-hag "she-bitch" deadite
with an over-the-shoulder shot
- the scene of his struggle against tiny, mischievous
versions of himself in a funny Gulliver's Travels-like
segment set in a windmill
- his fall on a hotstove when he had to
lever his face off with a spatula
- his fight with his own full-sized
doppelganger evil clone (which had sprouted a head from his own shoulder
after he swallowed one of the shard pieces)
- ending when he shot his evil double and declared: "Good, bad.
I'm the guy with the gun", then chained the clone to a table
and dissected it with his chainsaw before burying the pieces
- as
he threw the chopped up remains of himself in an open grave, his
decapitated head spoke: "You shall never retrieve the Necronomicon.
You'll die in the graveyard before you'll get it."
- in the graveyard
scene, he faced a dilemma regarding three look-alike books - and
chose the wrong Necronomicon (Book of the Dead) --
the erroneous book, with a turning, 'black-hole'-like center, vacuumed
him into itself, until he literally had to pull himself out with
an elongated face
- the scene of his recitation of the wrong magical
incantation words before opening the correct book (forgetting the
words: "Klaatu,
Barada, Nikto" from The
Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) and substituting "necktie,"
"nectar," and "nickel" etc.
for the real third 'n' word ("It's definitely an 'N' word"))
- the inadvertent unleashing and emergence of skeletal
Deadite 'army of the dead' (similar to Ray Harryhausen's stop-motion
creatures in Jason
and the Argonauts (1963))
from the ground, led by Ash's resurrected, zombie-doppelganger
self, that grabbed
his face repeatedly
- after vanquishing the deadites and returning to
the present time, the scene of Ash defeating one more She-Demon
(Patricia Tallman) in the Housewares Department of S-Mart
- afterwards,
an impressed co-worker (Angela Featherstone) embraced him, as Ash
mused in voiceover: "Sure, I could have stayed in the past.
I could have even been king. But in my own way, I am king." He
then told the girl before he passionately kissed her: "Hail
to the king, baby!"
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Arsenic
and Old Lace (1944)
- drama critic Mortimer Brewster's (Cary Grant) two
loveable (but psychopathic) aunts Martha and Abby (Josephine Hull
and Jean Adair) who revealed their secret poisoning of male callers
with elderberry wine, assisted by eccentric uncle Theodore 'Teddy'
Brewster (John Alexander) for burial in the cellar (imagined as
the cemetery for yellow fever victims at the Panama Canal)
- the scene of
Mortimer opening up a window seat where he
stumbled upon and discovered the results of his two spinster aunts'
latest charity act of poisoning
lonely old gentlemen - a dead body - a flabbergasted Mortimer did
multiple double-takes and eyeball rolls, before realizing a dead
body was in there and wrongly believing that he
was to blame
- and Teddy's delivering a yell of "CHAAAARGGGE"
and then proceeding up the staircase at every opportunity while blowing
his bugle, believing it was San Juan Hill all over again in the Spanish-American
War
- Mortimer's struggles to convince his fiancee Elaine
Harper (Priscilla Lane) that he actually loved her, while distracted
by dealing with his family's crazy and insane relatives
- the
entrance of Mortimer's long-lost homicidal brother Jonathan (Raymond
Massey) - a tall, insane, murderous, cold-blooded, sadistic killer,
and his assistant "Doctor" Herman Einstein (Peter Lorre)
- a short, demented, round-eye-balled and disreputable plastic surgeon
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Arthur (1981)
- alcoholic, spoiled millionaire playboy womanizer
Arthur Bach's (Dudley Moore) sudden realization in the Plaza
why his successful advances toward Gloria (Anne De Salvo) were
so successful - ("You're a hooker? Jesus, I forgot! I just
thought I was doing great with you")
- Arthur's announcement: "I'm gonna take a bath" -
with faithful, wise, and loyal but sarcastic valet Hobson's (Oscar-winning
John Gielgud) response: "I'll alert the media"; when
Arthur added:
"Do you want to run my bath for me?" Hobson said: "That's
what I live for" - and then quipped: "Perhaps you'd like
me to come in there and wash your dick for you, you little s--t?"
- the image of Arthur in a bubble bath sipping a
martini, with Hobson at his side, who noted: "Bathing is a
lonely business"
- Arthur's strained dinner with lovestruck fiancee
Susan Johnson (Jill Eikenberry) - the daughter of a tycoon, and
his saving of lower-class shoplifter and Queens waitress Linda
Marolla (Liza Minnelli) - whom he later fell in love with; Hobson
joked with Linda:
"Thank you for a memorable afternoon. Usually, one must go to
a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature"
- Arthur's care for his dying butler - with Hobson
reassuring him that death wasn't frightening, and his final words: "Arthur,
you're a good son"
- the finale with Arthur's request to his limousine
driver Bitterman: ("Bitterman! Do you want to double your
salary?...Then, open that door!")
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Auntie Mame (1958)
- the elegantly flamboyant, wisecracking,
free-spirited Mame Dennis (Rosalind Russell) reminding everyone that "Life
is a banquet - and most poor suckers are starving to death"
-
the scene of Mame struggling to walk in wrong-sized boots
- her
cry of "Jackpot!" during the climactic engagement party scene
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Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
- in this third chapter of the series, the hilariously vulgar shadow-play or puppetry scene in the Sick Bay of Dr. Evil's (Mike Myers) submarine lair, beginning with the sight of swinging agent Austin Powers (Mike Myers) unsteadily on the shoulders of Mini-Me (Verne Troyer)
- the method they improvised to provide a urine sample
for the doctor (spitting out Apple juice)
- the incredulous
views of the two of them silhouetted behind a curtain casting very
funny shadows ("Mini-Me. Our shadows!") that was watched
by an astonished sailor - ending with Myers giving a stand-up birth to Mini-Me!
- the self-aware scene that continued the 'phallic'
wordplay scene in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999),
but this time about a tit-shaped satellite with breast synonyms:
- Radar Operator Johnson: Sir, Dr. Evil's
not bluffing. One of our satellites is falling out of orbit.
- General Clark:
Which one?
- Radar Operator Johnson:
It's the one that looks like a
pair of...
- Busty Female Vendor: Melons! Big juicy melons!
- Male Shopper:
Are they nice and firm?
- Busty Female Vendor: Well,
what do you think?
- Male Shopper: (pointing)
Look at that. It looks like a set of giant...
- Four Shirtless Fans With Painted Chests Reading T-I-T-S: Hey, A and
N you're late. How're we doin? We're back. (cheering) Go Titans! Check
it out. Those remind me of...
- Ozzy Osbourne: (watching the game on TV and pausing the screen)
Boobs!
- Sharon Osbourne: Boobs, Ozzy?
- Ozzy Osbourne:
These filmmakers are just f--king boobs.
- Kelly Osbourne:
What do you mean, Dad?
- Ozzy Osbourne: Well, they're using the same
f--king jokes as they did in the last Austin Powers movie.
- Sharon
Osbourne: What f--king joke?
- Jack Osbourne: You know, the f--king
joke about the long smooth rocket that looks like some guy's...
- General Clark:
Johnson!
- Radar Operator Johnson: Yes, sir.
- General Clark: Any sign of that satellite?
- Radar Operator Johnson: No, sir. It's gone.
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Austin Powers: International
Man of Mystery (1997)
- the first in a PG-rated series of James Bond
spy-movie spoofs - a fast-paced comedy filled with gags (both verbal
and visual) featuring Mike Myers as a cryogenically-frozen 60s
James Bondian British spy named Austin Powers
who battled his villainous arch-enemy Dr.
Evil (Myers also) 30 years later after being defrosted
- the introduction of Austin Powers after being unfrozen
from his cryogenic state in the Ministry of Defense in 1997: ("Who
is this Austin Powers? The ultimate gentleman spy -- irresistible
to women, deadly to his enemies, a legend in his own time. Attention.
Stage one: laser cutting begins. Laser cutting complete. Stage
two: warm liquid goo phase beginning. Warm liquid goo phase complete.
Stage three: reanimation beginning. Reanimation complete. Stage
four: cleansing beginning. Cleansing complete. Stage five: evacuation
beginning. Evacuation comp..., Evacuation comp... Comp... Comp... Evacuation
comp...");
in the scene, a naked Austin was evacuating (peeing), with a female-voice
announcer keeping track of his progress
- Dr. Evil's plan to hold the world hostage, with
his proposal of a
blackmail scheme to the UN (that wanted to prevent his Project
Vulcan scheme for a nuclear warhead) for an initial inflation-challenged
ransom of "One...
MEEE-llion dollars!" - not realizing
that this amount of ransom wasn't as threatening in the 1990s as
it was in the 1960s; his
henchman Number 2 (Robert Wagner) suggested: "Don't you think
we should ask for more than a million dollars? A million dollars
isn't exactly a lot of money these days"; Dr. Evil upwardly
revised his ransom to $100 billion dollars!
- Evil's bizarre relationship with resentful cloned
son Scott Evil (Seth Green), and after first meeting him asking
repeatedly: "Can I have a hug?", including the scene
in which he kept shushing Scott: ("Let me tell you a little
story about a man named Sh!")
-
the inappropriate Family Counseling speech by Evil to his therapy
group: ("The details of my life are quite inconsequential...
very well, where do I begin?...At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian
named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really
is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking - I highly
suggest you try it")
- during a cataloguing of Austin Powers' possessions
and embarrassed by the presence of Vanessa Kensington
(Elizabeth Hurley), his denial
that a Swedish-made penis enlarger pump was his: ("That's
not mine...I don't even know what this is. This sort of thing ain't
my bag, baby"), even though a book authored by him on the
subject was revealed
- Dr. Evil's go-go-girl "fem-bots"
with guns in the tops of their bikinis who attempted to seduce Austin
Powers; he was able to outwit and defeat the seductive android females
by performing a sexy, gyrating strip-tease "Dance of Death" (down
to Union Jack red underwear and hairy chest) to the tune of "I
Touch Myself"
- causing them to short-circuit with sexual electricity as their
heads twitched violently and then exploded
- the scene of Vanessa and Austin running over a security
guard with a steamroller
- in the final classic honeymoon scene, Austin Powers
cavorted naked with glamorous "shagadelic" Vanessa while
their private parts were teasingly hidden by strategically-placed
objects
- catchphrases such as: "Bee-have," "Sake
it to me baby!", "Yeah, baby, yeah," "Do
I make you horny, baby?" and "Shall we shag now or
shall we shag later?"
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Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
- the clever 'phallic wordplay' scene during the
launching of Dr. Evil's (Mike Myers) and Mini-Me's (Verne Troyer)
phallic-shaped rocket from his private volcanic island lair; as
the rocket flew across the sky, the conversation kept cutting
back and forth, offering lots of synonyms for male genitals:
- Radar Operator Johnson: Colonel, you'd better take a look at this radar.
- Colonel: What
is it, son?
- Radar Operator Johnson: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
- Jet
Pilot: Dick.
- Co-Pilot Dick: Yeah.
- Jet Pilot: Take a look out of starboard.
- Co-Pilot Dick:
Oh my God, it looks
like a huge...
- Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
- Bird-Watching Man: (with binoculars) Oooh, Where?
- Bird-Watching Woman: Wait,
that's not a woodpecker. It looks like someone's...
- Army Sergeant: Privates. We
have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete
with...
- Baseball Umpire: Two balls. (looking up from the ball-game and removing his
mask) What is that? That looks just like an enormous...
- Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
- Young Wang: I was distracted by that enormous flying...
- Musician: Willie.
- Willie Nelson: Yeah?
-
Musician: What's that?
- Willie: (squinting) Well, it looks like a giant...
- Colonel:
Johnson.
- Radar Operator Johnson: Yes, sir?
- Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence
and let them know about this.
- Basil Exposition: Did we get Dr. Evil?
- Radar Operator Johnson: No,
sir. He got away in that rocket that looks like a huge...
- Sex Ed
Teacher: Penis.
The male reproductive organ. Also known as tallywhacker, schlong, or...
- Friendly
Dad: Wiener? Any of your kids want another wiener?
- Friendly Son: (pointing) Dad,
what's that?
- Friendly Dad: I don't know, son, but it's got great big...
- Peanut Vendor: Nuts! Hot, salty nuts. Who wants some?
Lord Almighty!
- Woman: That looks just like my husband's...
- Circus Barker:
ONE-EYED MONSTER. Step right up and see the One-eyed Monster!
- Cyclops:
RARRR. Hey, what's that? It looks like a big...
- Fan: Woody. Woody
Harrelson. Can I have your autograph?
- Woody: Sure, no problem. Oh, my Lord! Look
at that thing!
- Fan: It's so big!
- Woody: I've seen bigger. That's...
- Dr. Evil: (with a hypodermic needle) Just a little prick.
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The Awful
Truth (1937)
- the scene in this screwball comedy in which the
soon-to-be divorced couple of Lucy (Irene Dunne) and Jerry Warriner
(Cary Grant) accidentally turned up with dates at the same nightclub;
both of them went to extreme lengths to prevent the other one from
getting remarried: (Lucy: "Well, I'm convinced he must care
about me or he wouldn't do the funny things he does")
- the
disruption scene of Jerry barging in on Lucy's vocal recital and
accidentally tipping back in his chair and noisily falling to the
floor
- also
the 'two men in the same bedroom' scene in which Mr. Smith (Asta
the dog) played hide-and-seek with an incriminating derby hat by
repeatedly dragging it out from where it was hidden by Lucy, and
then mixing the two hats up
- the tickling scene, when Jerry (hidden behind a
door) caused Lucy to laugh inappropriately when in the company
of her new fiancee-suitor Oklahoma native Dan Leeson (Ralph Bellamy):
"I do laugh at the oddest times"
- Jerry's insult of Dan's homely ways: "And if you
get bored in Oklahoma City, you can always go over to Tulsa for
the weekend!"
- and the scene of Lucy party-crashing and pretending
to be Jerry's heavy-drinking, flamboyant and vulgar Southern sister "Lola" when
she appeared at his new fiancee's house with stuffy in-laws -
and her rowdy rendition (with uplifted skirt) of
a vulgar nightclub routine and song, My Dreams Are Gone With the
Wind
- the image of the two of them riding motorcycles
in evening dress
- and the final connecting-bedrooms scene and the
metaphoric image of reunited, male and female cuckoo-clock figurines
entering the same opening
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