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American Pie (1999)
In Paul Weitz' humorous teen sex farce and gross-out
teen comedy (with the slogan: "You never forget your first slice!")
- the film's title was derived from the question: "What exactly
does third base feel like?" and the answer: "Like warm
apple pie":
- the opening scene of horny high-school teen Jim
Levinstein (Jason Biggs) masturbating himself with a long athletic
tube sock while watching scrambled porn on pay-TV, but was caught
by both of his parents, who were shocked by the dialogue they were
hearing from the TV: "Baby! Ride me like a pony!"
and "Oh, spank my hairy ass!"
- the scene of Jim's experimentation with the feel of
warm, freshly-baked apple pie and being discovered pumping the pastry
on the kitchen island by his stunned dad (Eugene Levy) - and his
embarrassing excuse: ("It's not what it looks like"); their
solution to cover up the damage: "Well....we'll just tell your
mother that uh, that uh, we ate it all"
Experimentation with Apple Pie
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- the scene of Jim's awkward sex-education session
with his well-meaning father, who offered a selection of dirty
magazines and instructed him to go to the center section: "Well,
you see the detail that, uh, that they go into in this picture
here.... It almost looks like a tropical plant or something, underwater
- thing"; his father also asked: "Do you know what a
clitoris is?"; slightly later was another frank session about
masturbation: "Jim, I want to talk about masturbation. Now,
I just want you to know that it's - it's a perfectly normal, uh,
thing. And I have to admit, uh, you know. I, uh, did a fair bit
of masturbating when I was a little younger. I, uh, I used to call
it 'stroking the salami'. Yeah, you know, 'pounding the ol' pud.'
I never did it with baked goods, uh, but you know your Uncle Mort?
He pets 'the one-eyed snake' five, six times a day. See, it's like,
uh, practice for the big game. You see? And it's like, it's like,
uh, banging a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun.
It can be fun, but it's not a game...What you want is, you want
a partner to return the ball"
- the scene of Vicky Lathum (Tara Reid) being given
oral sex in her bedroom by her boyfriend Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian
Nicholas), as she loudly yelled out: "I'm coming!" while
her clueless father stood outside her door, shrugged his shoulders,
and then continued downstairs
- Jim's discussion with openly-sexual band camp geek
and prom date Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan) who admitted:
"This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy...What
? You don't think I know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half
of band camp is -- Sex Ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cause I'm gettin'
kinda antsy"; during sex, she coerced him into wearing two condoms
to desensitize him: "I don't want you coming so damn early this
time...Come on. I saw you on the 'Net. Why do you think I accepted
this date? You're a sure thing"
- the shocking, squirm-inducing bedroom scene of Steve
Stifler (Seann William Scott) about to make out with sophomore chick
Sarah (Eden Riegel) - she was reluctant to have sex, telling him: "You
know what ? I don't know if I want to be doing this....You know,
like, if we hook up tonight, tomorrow I'll just be some girl you
go tellin' all your friends about"; then, he chugged down a
cup of brew (mixed with sperm deposited there by Kevin) and shortly
later, he embarrassingly vomited up the entire contents of his stomach
onto her (off-screen) - in the next scene, she screamed and fled
down the stairs with stained clothes
- Jim's online voyeuristic experience (and encounter)
with foreign Czech exchange student Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), who
was using his bedroom, while he spied on her undressing and masturbating
through a hidden video-camera at his friend's home, where Paul Finch
(Eddie Kaye Thomas) commented: "God bless the Internet";
a web-cam was broadcasting everything to the entire school, and although
she was prepared to have sex with Jim, he prematurely ejaculated
twice and became completely humiliated
- the seduction scene between Paul Finch and Stifler's
mother Jeanine (Jennifer Coolidge), to the tune of The
Graduate's theme song - "Mrs. Robinson" - Finch: "So,
uh, would you object if I said that you were quite striking?"
Jeanine: "Mr. Finch, are you trying to seduce me?" Finch: "Yes,
ma'am, I am." (She dragged him over to the basement pool table
for sex)
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Jim Caught By Parents
Talks with Father
Vicky's "I'm Coming!"
Michelle's Story About Band Camp
Result of Stifler Drinking Sperm-Brew with Sarah
Seduction Scene With Stifler's Mother Jeanine
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